Kape at Keso

What to dream for this year? To be honest, I was not thinking of anything to do  this year - resolutions, goals, plans. Nothing of that sort. Unlike the past years, I was that woman who was always looking forward to the possibilities of the new year, full of hope and fire. But what is a dream anyway? I read that a dream especially a God-dream is something that you can let go but won't let go of you. It is a dream that would inspire hope to the people around you. It would make them see God's favor in your life. This idea I got from the first book on my haul this year. The Kiss of Heaven by Darlene Zschech. And this book stirred me into answering the question "What is your dream?" Anyway, my coming to Japan I would say is a God-dream. It started when in 4th grade I came across a story about a Japanese family. It was actually a sad story and I'm somehow proud of myself that I still remember the plot. Well after reading that, the dream of one day visiting Japan star...

I have always been fascinated with the stories of the past. Like some of you, I thought that perhaps I was born in the wrong era. Well recently, I read a book about the early followers of Jesus in the Roman times. I imagined walking in those days. I suppose the daily life back then was simpler or less complicated and people weren’t as confused. Although you may argue that the Roman Empire is guilty of suppressing and persecuting the early Christians. Well, that is rational and you are right. But what I mean to say is, way before the digital era, people were more laidback, lovers of wisdom and knowledge yet were strong enough to go to wars. But you see, soaking in and imagining the stories of the past is all I can do, and I despise wars.  The Roman poet, Ovid once said, “Let others praise ancient times I am glad I was born in these” How boastful of Ovid. But he has all the right to be so. Ovid lived during the time when Rome was prospering under the emperor Augustus. And we learned ...

I was scanning through my files in my drive and found two diary entries written about ten years ago. The overwhelming and maybe staggering emotions here took me by surprise. And guess what, the person I dedicated this diary to, actually read it. Now the memories are coming back reading through it all over again. And it's amazing that remembering all those times only gave me happiness and peace. I was braver and bolder. Whatever happened to me now? 〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰 〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰 〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰 August 3, 2012 (Friday) It’s been more than a week since he told me he has something to tell me. Honestly it bothered me. I felt excited yet at the same time confused and afraid. I let the day passed and to my surprise, he texted. Well, nothing’s new, he has this favor again. I did not mind. But I know at the back of my head I was actually waiting for him to remember what he’s suppose to. That very night, he called me up. It was a long hour of conversation again. We were just comfortable talking. I m...

Image from: https://roomsbooms.com/what-is-help-mark/ Let's call her Nora. She was a student in my 1-to-1 classes. I remember the first day I met her. She looked composed and calm. Given her professional background, I anticipated a commanding, domineering aura. Nora is an instructor at a medical university. She was doing a research that required her to read through dissertations, journals, case studies, etc.  It was in our 5th or 6th meeting I noticed that Nora has that red tag. Curiosity and confusion both came running my mind. However, I was forbidden to ask anything personal so I acted as usual. Nora must have intended to let me see that red tag on that very day. The documents we were working on are about brain disorders. She gave me a copy of a rough draft of a case study she did. I read thoroughly.  I handed her back the paper and showed her the things she needed to improve on - grammar, vocabulary, coherence, everything except the content. "It's my story.", Nor...

It's been over a year since the outbreak of the pandemic. Everyone went through a season of more downs than ups. It was heartbreaking to see friends losing jobs, fighting depression and anxiety, and even grieving for lost loved ones. I was of no exemption. I have exhausted all strength that's left in me. I was troubled and mentally hanging by a thread. All those feelings or emotions were foreign to me. But God still does everything for good. Right now, I am involved in three Bible study groups, I could share more about God to my parents, I and my friends started sponsoring kids, we also launched a support group in Facebook and two workmates committed their lives to God.  While writing about these things, I felt in awe of what God did behind my suffering. I am always a confident person. I take pride in the fact that I have good speaking skill. But last year, I couldn't even pray aloud without stuttering. I would run out of breath whenever I share the gospel. My knees quiver ...

While I am enjoying teaching in an eikaiwa , I thought that I am always disposable, replaceable anytime. Anybody can do my job. This is my hard truth. So I wanted to do something else -  something that not a lot of people can do. What could be it? What? I might have made a mistake in choosing this field. Why everything feels not right Lord?  Maybe I can study again? Pursue higher education? Or take up law? Or do business? What Lord? What? And in my longing to seek for more, I found my heart covered with envy. I am envious of people who have achieved more academically.  I am envious of people who are running their own businesses. I am envious of people who are earning more. I am envious of people getting more in life but are in no comparison to me. See? This is how ugly my heart is. This is the heart that praises God at the same time. This is the heart that follows Jesus. This is the heart that Jesus died for. This is me. This is an ugly sinner me. And now, I am envious of...

So, what does it feel to be at the Sorakara (highest) point? In awe. It still amazes me how advanced Japan is in terms of architecture and infrastructure. Tokyo Skytree is considered the tallest building in the country. So when on the top, it will give you a 360-degree view of the city. I could see the stretch of Sumida River, Odaiba's Ferris Wheel, Haneda Airport, Asakusa's Golden Poo and the shy Fuji-san, shy because it was cloudy at that time and it's hard to see through clearly. What a scenic view! So did I feel scared? Not at all. I mean except for that glass floor 😂 When you're up there, you would learn to trust the foundation of the building more so the builders.  Then while watching the sun set, something hit me - TRUST. If Skytree hadn't been built in Japan, I wouldn't have taken the risk and thrill of going up, honestly saying. You see, it took years and years for Japan to build this kind of reputation. ...

Now I understand why most Japanese I know say that Cebu beaches are clean - well some aren't actually. ⛅⛅⛅ For the Golden Week Holiday, we went to Fujisawa in Kanagawa to visit a friend. Enoshima Island is nearby so she toured us around. It was pretty much crowded than we imagined but we didn't bother anyway. We went up the lighthouse which cost us 500 jpy each. And from the top of the lighthouse, this is the view. 😍 The sea breeze is still refreshing although the water is not as clear as Cebu's. 😄 I could spend the day just looking at this scenery. With Ava, my childhood friend. We grew up in church together but I'm actually 3 years older than her. After skidding our way out of the island, we stopped by Ate Toshi's house to have some dinner. 🍣🍗 It's been a while since the last time I saw Ate Toshi. She has aged with grace. She's Japanese and she was a missionary in our church in Cebu f...

Gone are the celebrations. It's time to face the real deal. What are you gonna do next? What are you hoping for 2018? Since last year, I've grown tired of writing down my faith goals. Probably because more than half of them didn't even come to life? Perhaps the one that I'm praying God for years didn't even show any progress? Should I be mad at God about it? No. 😑 There are more significant things to thank God for. Even the storm, the brokenness, the stagnation - all of them are God's dealing in my life. And instead of feeling anguish, the best I can do is to fall down on my knees and praise God. However, like any other relationships, mine and Jesus' has been dead in the water. That's how I see it but not Jesus. He continued to plant and grow hope in me. 😢 Time and time again He showed me His Grace. He taught me to be more in love with Him every day. Yet I resisted. I was in the state of not listening to Him anymore. I can hear t...

The Batak Tribe in Nanabu, Roxas is one of the many tribes in the mountains of Palawan. Going there from the highway takes about five hours except if you ride a motorcycle which takes you just about two hours. But motorcycle isn't always available. You need to contact a local to meet you down. What led us there? We were invited by a friend, Ate Bing, to take part in the tribe's foundation day. Perhaps she was thinking that maybe we can help in our own little ways. True enough, we had to squeeze that creative juices in us for the mass wedding preparation. 😀 Through a local Christian church headed by Ptr. Joseph and other volunteers, they held a mass wedding for the tribe. Members of the tribe usually marry as early as 12 years old in accordance to their tradition. Parents choose their daughters husband. Most young girls marry boys twice or thrice their age. A local church in Puerto Princesa also went there to volunteer for the foundation day. Starting to go...

The most painful yet inevitable part of life is knowing you only have few days to live. We visited a friend the other day upon receiving the news that her papa is diagnosed of a Stage 4 Liver cancer. Bedridden and weak, her papa wasn't the same man I've known a few months back. Three to six months was what the doctor tactfully informed them. After the news broke, friends were coming at their house everyday. Messages of hope and healing flooded the family. Of all life's unending issues, death is probably the most painful and unbearable. I sat near her papa's bed observing. I was thinking that what if I'm in that situation. How do I feel? Will I feel mad of people coming in and out my room just to see me struggling to death? Will I feel sad knowing I'll be leaving the earth sooner than the people I love? Will I feel anxious about not being able to spend amazing moments with the best people ever again? Modern may people's perspectives are, but undenia...